When History Attacks (Retold)
by DatGuyBleach
Summary: One shot. The girls encounter a ruthless warlord and his bodyguard. Don't own Pretty Little Liars. Just Samantha Colvin


**So it's been a while. LIfe has been busy and I been working on myself. Getting into better shape. Lost over 50 pounds so far. Woot woot. Anyway. I have been coming up with all these ideas, including retelling this one shot since I wasn't happy with it. I could have done better ya know. I will continue with the retelling of my first fanfiction. This one shot is in the same universe. Enjoy this retelling of When History Attacks.**

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 **(Aria's POV)**

"So...what's the plan of attack?" Paige asks as we walk through the Rosewood HIstory Museum. We stop at the wall leading to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms exhibit and Sam leans over to look into the exhibit.

'We are just going to talk to him. See if we can get him to calm down." Sam replies.

"I don't know much about the Romance of the Three Kingdoms but what makes you think this guy will listen to us?" I ask Sam, placing a hand on her back to peek over the corner with her.

"That I don't know." Sam looks at me. "I just want to handle this with care. I don't need this guy launching a war. Innocent people could get hurt."

'Who is this guy?" I ask as I feel Paige put her hand on my back to lean over the corner with us.

"Dong Zhou."

"Wait!" Paige says in a harsh whisper. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Dong Zhou?!"

"Keeping your fucking voice down!" Sam counters in her own harsh whisper.

"Guys! Hush!" I say as I see two statues that are carrying what looks like spears walk by in a guarding pattern. Once they leave, I ask the question that is causing Sam and Paige to swear at each other. "Who's Dong Zhou?"

"One nasty motherfucker Aria." Paige simply replies.

"To clarify, he was ruthless warlord during the Han Dynasty. Nasty piece of work. So nasty, a coalition force was created just to take him down." Sam adds on.

"Did they succeed?" I ask, interested in this little history lesson Sam was providing.

"In a way. They drove him out. In the end though, it was his foster son that ended his life. With help of course.

'How?" I was engrossed with this.

"According to the history books, with the encouragement of Wang Yun…"

"Wang Yun?" Paige ask. 'I mean, I always loved Dynasty Warriors but the games never drove this deep into the history.

'Huh? Dynasty Warriors?" I ask, wondering what Paige was talking about.

"An action game basic loosely off the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. To answer your question Paige, he was the Interior Minister at the time. He convinced Lu Bu…"

"Lu Bu?!" Paige eyes widen.

"Who's that and why is Paige looking like she wants to cry?" I ask, looking at Paige's worried expression.

Sam sighs. "He was one mean SOB Aria. Armies feared him. Coalition forces couldn't even touch the dude. Anyway, Lu Bu and Li Su approached him. Li Su simply walks and stabs him. When he cried out for Lu Bu's help, Lu Bu was quoted saying, "This is an imperial order." and delivered the death blow. The guy guarding his body lit it on fire and it burned for days. His fat was providing fuel."

'Wow." I simply say, taking all the information in that was just provided by Sam. "So, I have to ask again. What makes you think he is going to listen to us? From what I just learned...he won't be talk down so easily."

'Plus, he might be pissed off on how his life ended." Paige adds.

"I'm aware. That's why I told you guys to bring your weapons but…"

"But?" Me and Paige say at the same time.

'We are going to have to leave them right here. Can't give away the fact we might have to attack." I sigh. She was right. I can tell the wheels in Paige's mind was turning but the sigh she lets out, she knew she was right. I put down Gōsutosureiyā, the katana that Sam gave to me during the whole attack on Rosewood ordeal. She drops her new katana, Amaterasu. Paige drops her brand new pistols, Ariel and Ursula. Fitting names. "Come on. Let's introduce ourselves." She says as we come out our hiding spots. "Hands up y'all." We put our hands up, approaching the guards. Let me do the talking." Me and Paige nod.

The guards spots us and puts up their spears in a kill position. "Wǒmen wèi hépíng ér lái." (We come in peace.) Sam says in what seems to be perfect Chinese. The guards looks at each other then back at us. Sam kneels to one knee and clasps her hands together. "Wǒmen lái shuōhuà dǒngzhuō, jiào hóngmù." (We come to speak to Dong Zhou, representing Rosewood.) The guards looks at us. Me and Paige look at each before taking the position that Sam has taken.

"Nǐ rènwéi tāmen shuō de shì zhēn huà?" (Do you think they speak the truth?) The guard on the right asks the one on the left. The voice was oddly clear for a statue. I don't understand Chinese but I can tell from the tone, it seems to be a question.

"Shuí zhīdào? Jiǎnchá tāmen de wǔqì." (Who knows? Check them for weapons.) The guard on the left responds. "Zhàn!" (Stand!) He yells. Sam gets to her feet and we follow suit. The right guard walks over to us and slowly checks us. He gropes Sam and I flinch. "Nǐ zài zuò shénme?" (What are you doing?) He asks the guard groping Sam.

"Shénme? Wǒ hái méiyǒu kàn dào yīgè nǚrén zhège měilì de hěn zhǎng yīduàn shíjiān." (What? I haven't a woman this beautiful in a long time.) He simply replies.

Sam right eye twitches then a move I didn't even see coming, she headbutts the guard. Not her best decision, seeing how she is holding her head, but it does create space. "Wǒ bùshì lái zhèlǐ de bāngzhù xià gǎnshòu dàole! Dài wǒ qù dōngzhōu! (I didn't come here to be felt up by the help! Take me to Dong Zhou!) She says with anger.

"Yúchǔn de biǎo zi!" (Stupid bitch!) He responds and raises his spear but is stopped by the other guard.

" Nǐ de cuò báichī." (Your fault idiot.) He replies and pushes him out the way. "Yídòng!" (Move!) He says as he pushes us forward with his spear in our back.

"Seems your little outburst worked Sam." Paige says as we are walking deeper in the exhibit. "Didn't know you spoke Chinese."

"Yeah. Any other languages you speak?" I added.

"Japanese, Korean, German, French, Spanish, my Russian and Portuguese is ass. Learning Taiwanese and thinking I might pick up Arabic." Sam replies. As we are walking, we notice more and more guard statues. "There are a lot of them. I am thinking at least 25 to 30." We finally stop in front of a huge statue sitting on a throne. A fat, huge statue. Glaring at us. Sam quickly kneels and we follow suit. She clasps her hands, looking to the ground. "Zhōu dōng. Xiānshēng." (Dong Zhou. Sir.)

The statue stands up and strokes his beard, walking towards us. When he reaches us, he leans in and narrows his eyes, looking at us as if he is trying to burn a hole into us. He walks back to the throne and knocks over the chalice that was sitting there, sending it towards us. It fell short. "Tāmen sòng háizi. Nǚhái shuō. Shénme? Tánlùn? Bù zhíqián de rú chóng bìngdú!" (They send children. Girls at that. To what? Talk? Worthless worms!) Sam tries to speak but is cut off. "Shāle tāmen." (Kill them.)

'Oh shit! Plan B it is!" Sam says as she knocks down the right guard statue with a right leg sweep and grabs his spear. She gives a warrior's yell and run towards Dong Zhou and jumps at him just to be deflected. She is sent flying into us, knocking all of us to the ground. As we recover, I look up and see what had stopped her attack. The statute was huge and it carried a spear. "We might be in trouble…"

"Who is that?!" I ask, getting off the ground.

"That, Aria, is Lu Bu…" Paige says, eyes widen at the size of Lu Bu.

"Right...run!" Sam yells and we haul ass.

"Zhuā zhù tāmen!" (Catch them!) was the last thing I heard as we got our weapons and ran to escape the museum.

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 _Ten minutes earlier_

 **(Spencer's POV)**

I lean against my SUV and watch Hanna pace back and forth at the steps leading to the museum entrance. "Hanna. Can you stop doing that?"

Hanna looks at me. "Doing what?" She goes back to pacing.

"That. Pacing. You're driving me nut."

"Well excuse me Spencer for worrying about my crazy girlfriend!" Hanna yells.

"Hanna…" Emily voice calls out from the SUV, going into mother voice. She only uses it for Hanna. "Calm down. My girl is in there too you know."

"What the hell was they thinking?" Hanna glares at me. "This is your fault."

"Really Hanna? My fault?"

"Yes! You!" Hanna throws her hands in the air and goes back to pacing.

"Exactly how is this her fault Hanna?" Toby appears at my side, giving me a side hug.

"How? Simple. She just had to bring this to Sam's attention." Hanna glares at both of us.

"Hanna. Calm down. I'm sure they are fine. They wasn't going in there to fight." Emily says as she exits out the SUV.

"Calm down? Did she tell you their plan?" Hanna points at Emily.

"Who?"

"You know who. Paige. Sam and Paige are close. Hell, if we wasn't dating them, they would be dating each other." Hanna crosses her arms.

"Hanna…" Emily says while facepalming. "Paige didn't tell me anything. I don't think she didn't even know the plan."

"Ugh! That's so Samantha! Ugh! Kuso baka!" Hanna huffs out. "Tsuneni orokana nanika o shite!"

"Is she…" Emily looks at me.

"I think so...she's talking to herself in Japanese." I look on at Hanna, talking to the air.

"Naze baka to koi ni watashi o gozen? Ha~a? Kanojo wa ki... Sore, mubōna kuso orokana kusodesu!"

"I didn't think she knew Japanese." Toby injects.

"Well...when you are the girlfriend of Sam...learning Japanese isn't far fetched. She speaks it so clearly though." I say, looking at Hanna continue to go off in Japanese.

"What I miss?" We heard a familiar voice calls out. Erza comes around the SUV, carrying a box and four coffee cups.

"Just Hanna freaking out in Japanese." I say as me, Emily and Toby grab a coffee cup. Hanna stomps over, takes a coffee, opens the box to reveal donuts, grabs one and goes back over to her spot. "At least that calm her down."

"So does anyone know what they are planning on doing?" Erza says as he sips his coffee.

"No!" Hanna retorts as she violently bites into her donut. "She didn't tell me anything and she didn't tell Paige. She knew Paige would have spilled the beans to Emily."

"Hey!" Emily whines, clearly offended. "No she won't."

Hanna scoffs and Emily narrows her eyes. "Please. You got Paige so whipped, its not even funny anymore."

"That's not true." Emily counters. We all looked at her with a 'oh really' look. She sighs. "Fine. Paige might….MIGHT….be whipped by your standards…."

"She's whipped by anyone standards." Hanna says.

"Anyway," Emily continues on, "she's not whipped. Just a good girlfriend."

"So what happens if this Dong Zhou guy doesn't want to play nice?" Toby asks, trying to change the subject.

"We don't know for sure. All we know is that he was making demands. The museum guards didn't understand him though." I say, sipping my coffee.

"How do they know he was making demands if they didn't understand him?" Erza asks.

"The tone and body language." I simply reply. "If I was to guess, if he doesn't play nice, he will start a war." I say while looking at Toby.

"Well let's hope the girls can…" Toby is cut off by the sound of the doors leading to the museum opening. We see Sam, Aria and Paige running full sprint.

"That can't be good right?" Emily ask us. "They shouldn't be running."

"Start the car!" Sam yells at us. "Start the bloody car!"

"Right. Everyone into the car. Let's go!" I drop my coffee and hop into the driver's seat. Everyone hops into the car as the rest of the girls hop in. Sam jumps the roof. "What the hell are you doing Sam?!"

"Drive!" Sam yells and hits the top of the car. I peel off from the museum.

"Can one of you explain what the hell is going on?" I glare at Aria and Paige through my rearview window.

"I think Dong Zhou didn't like us." Aria replies. She sticks her head out the window and quickly comes back in. "Spencer...drive faster."

Sam sticks her head in the window that Aria look out of. "Shotgun! Now!"

"There's a shotgun in the car?" Toby ask in his cop voice.

"Yes officer. There is. In the bag in the back where Emily and Hanna are sitting. Now please hand it to me or we might possible get killed by a huge statue of Lu Bu." Sam says calmly. "Now please...the shotgun!" Hanna quickly hands her the shotgun. "Thanks Peach." Suddenly we hear the shots from the gun. I look into my driver's side window and see a huge statue on a statue horse, swinging his weapon from what I can tell is a spear.

"Spencer! Step on it!" Hanna yells at me.

"What do you think I'm doing Han!" I yell back. "What the hell do you guys do?!" I ask Aria and Paige. The upcoming street is a hard right so I hit a hard turn and hear Sam slide across the car.

"Still up here bitch!" Sam says as she sticks her head back into the car. "A little help here."

"Well the idiot on the roof thought it would be an awesome to attack Dong Zhou." Paige replies as she uses her pistols to attack Lu Bu.

"Hey!" Hanna says, offended. "Don't call her that. Only I am allowed to call that idiot an idiot."

I make another hard turn, hearing Sam slide across the roof and yelling shit. "Thanks a bunch Spenc. I just lost the shotgun." I can see the wheels in her head turn. "Fuck it. Plan C it is. Stop the car."

"What?" "You serious?" "That's a bad idea." "Really Sam?" "Anata wa kuso kurutte imasu ka?" "Not a good call Samantha." "Don't stop Spencer. Me, Emily, Aria, Paige, Hanna, Erza and Toby say, speaking over each other.

"Just do it." Sam says. I slam on the brakes, sending Sam tumbling onto the hood and falling to the ground. "Oh man...that hurt." She rolls on the ground a bit before sitting up in the middle of the road. Her eyes widen as Lu Bu approaches her. Paige hops out the car and points her guns but Sam puts her hands up. "Paige! Let me handle this." Sam does the 'put your gun down gesture' as Lu Bu stares down Paige as she lowers her guns. "Zài zhèlǐ lǚbù." (Over here Lu Bu.) Sam says in flawless Chinese. Lu Bu turns away from Paige and fixes his stare on Sam. "Nà jiù duìle. Zài zhèlǐ." (That's right. Over here.) She slowly stands up with her hands in the air. "Ràng wǒmen lái tán tán." (Let's talk.)

Lu Bu slams the hilt of his spear into the ground and points at Sam. "Wǒ wèishéme yào tán yīgè háo wú jiàzhí de rú chóng?" (Why would I want to talk to a worthless worm?)

"Yīnwèi wǒmen dōu zhīdào dōngzhōu xūyào bèi chǔlǐ." (Because we both know Dong Zhou needs to be dealt with.)

"Nǐ gǎn nàyàng wǒ de fùqīn shuōhuà? Zhǔnbèi hǎo sǐ chóng!" (You dare speak of my father in that way? Get ready to die worm!) Lu Bu picks up his spear and points it at Sam.

"Tā huì shāle tā." (He will kill her.) Whatever Sam just said causes him to lower his spear. "Tā huì fāxiàn tā shì shuí, tā huì shāle tā zài nǐ miànqián." (He will find out who she is and he will kill her in front of you.)

"Fèihuà!" (Bullshit!) He counters angrily. "Méiyǒu rén zhīdào wǒmen!" (No one knows about us!)

"Tā shì zhèyàng de." (He does.) Sam walks slowly to Lu Bu. "Wǒ bùjǐn kěyǐ bāngzhù nín." (I can help you both.) She puts her hand on his spear and everyone in the car gasp.

"What the hell is she doing?" Emily asks.

"I don't know but it seems to be working. Do you know what they are talking about Hanna?" I ask.

"No clue. She only taught me Japanese." Hanna replied.

Lu Bu continues to stare down Sam as she pushes down the spear. "Yǒu shé me kěyǐ wéi wǒ de háizi zěnme bàn?" (What can a child do for me?)

"Wǒ kěyǐ bāng nǐ jiéshù dōngzhōu hé miǎnfèi cóng tā de tǒngzhì." (I can help you end Dong Zhou and free you from his reign.) "Shìfàng diāochán." (Freeing Diao Chan.) Lu Bu raises his spear to Sam's neck. "Zhè shì nǐ xiǎng yào de. Duìyú nǐ hé diāochán zài yīqǐ. Suízhe dōngzhōu zǒule, nǐ jiù bùbì shēnghuó zài hàipà pī fà xiàn le." (It's what you want. For you and Diao Chan to be together. With Dong Zhou gone, you won't have to live in fear of being found out.) Lu Bu pushes the blade a bit further up her neck.

"Nǐ zài sāhuǎng de háizi." (You're lying child.) Suddenly Lu Bu cries out in pain. "Fāshēngle shénme? Nǐ zuòle shénme? Háizi gāisǐ de nǐ!" (What's happening? What did you do child?! Damn you!) His body was falling apart. He raise his spear just to lose an arm and leg. "Wǒ bù huì ná rènhé rén diāochán!" (I won't anyone take Diao Chan!) He tries to strike but completely crumbles in front of Sam.

"Plan D it was." Sam lets out a sigh of relief. We all rush out the car and to her, checking her for any damage. She chuckles. "I'm fine guys. Really." She says, waving us off.

"What happened? Why did he crumble like that?" I ask.

"Seems like Dong Zhou was destroyed." Sam replies, walking over to the hood of my car and sitting on it.

"Your Plan D?" Hanna says, using air quotes.

"Coalition forces." Sam lays back on the hood.

"So the heroes of coalition forces killed him? Nice. So what was plan C?" I ask, impressed that Sam had that much insight.

"I was trying to repeat history."

"You was trying to get him to kill Dong Zhou." Aria says. "But how was you going to get him to do that? You couldn't tell him it was an imperial order."

"So I tried to use his love for Diao Chan." Sam says quietly.

"Wow. So that is what that was about?" I ask Sam but doesn't get a reply. "Sam?"

"Don't bother Spencer. She's out." Hanna says, looking at Sam, who is now sleeping soundly on the hood of the car. She sighs and strokes Sam's hair. "Watashi wa anata o dō suru tsumori? Watashi wa sono yōna gaki to koi ni yo." She gives her a kiss on the forehead before picking her up. "Open the door Em." Emily opens the door and Hanna places Sam into the sit. "Let's get her home."


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